“Silver Linings: A Rare Perspective for These Days”
If you’ve never heard R.E.M.’s song “It’s the End of the World,” well, it might not be a bad idea to give a listen because, well, you know…. Seriously, though, here we are: Another insanely controversial presidential election ripping apart government and neighborhood. We’ve got a global viral outbreak where trust in our officials and the clarity of their information go hand in hand (and which are also nowhere to be found). Civil unrest has become another flavor of acceptable violence in daily life. Hurricanes, earthquakes, and asteroids, oh my. I just can’t decide what to focus my anxiety on. And somehow, social media and pop culture keeps humming along to the sound of cha-ching while it bedazzles us with song and dance moves, and it acts like hypnosis on those who watch. Somehow, everything seems to be a bit off, in a Twilight Zone kind of way where everything seems distorted and surreal. Anyone feeling a bit crazy?! I know this guy does, but honestly, it’s hard work not feeling nutty because of all the chaos swirling around us constantly “these days.” Just turn on any electronic device, and a steady stream of anger, anxiety, conflict, insecurity, and worry in waves of distraction soon will begin trading places with you.
Think of the last time you endured a long, gloomy day or week. Maybe it was rainy, and that added a whole other layer of blah. But just as the weariness of that gloom overtakes your mind, out of some kind of innate beckoning comes a supernatural plea for help, and you choose to look up just when you’re about to give up, which is when you see it: Sunlight slips past the edges of darkness that unsuccessfully conceals it, and this revelation is what we call silver linings. In western culture, silver linings represent whatever good or desirable characteristic that one can find amidst a bad or undesirable situation. Just as the light illuminates the edges and reveals the possibility of better weather behind the clouds, silver linings suggest the evidence of a hope that better days are indeed ahead — a reassurance that all is not lost — and here is the proof. Maybe silver linings represent the beauty, harmony, peace, and light just on the other side of difficulty and suffering. But one thing’s for sure: Nature always offers life lessons, and we all eventually find that this is her number one.
At some point in the mornings, I watch as my wife endlessly scrolls through her news feeds where she promises me that she is looking for something, but ultimately, aren’t we all? Between my endless nodding of following her scrolling finger through headlines and my incessant email notifications that I receive throughout the day, I get more than my dose of insanity. In just a few minutes, I scan titles and skim-read some articles, and that’s enough for me to realize that even with just a few headlines, we’re in a lot of trouble — I mean a lot. I can’t help but see myself on the deck of the Titanic where the crew and orchestra is playing its final tune to soothe the inevitable doom. It seems to be a pretty pessimistic take, especially for someone whose character flaw is fatal optimism. But are things really as bleak and hopeless as they seem? Yes and…no. Why? Because it depends on what you look at and how much you see of that perspective. It’s really not that complicated but definitely easier said than done.
Since March of 2020, I’m sure plenty of us have been paying too much attention to what others are predicting of outcomes, and like everything in life, shit has indeed happened, and things have changed, and the process just continues. If you have not come to this conclusion for the sake of your own sanity, it’s a good time to realize that change is the name of the game — of life, of the cosmic universe, and of collective reality. It seems this COVID-19 event has been so cluttered with confusion and information from every corner of society, whether accurate or not. Add to it countless social media outlets regularly releasing anything controversial in order to gain viewership, while the rest of us are left to do the sorting out for ourselves, which is really hard to do when everyone says they have the truth AND they can prove it. As for me, I’ve grown weary of the fight or flight response to social media pop-up notifications of videos declaring I MUST WATCH IN 24 HOURS where I’m greeted by a silhouette and BOLD YELLOW WORDS warning of the impending doom… There is an obvious imbalance when society can profit from fear. It’s exhausting to feel like Chicken Little is everywhere constantly bombarding us with ceaseless warnings, especially when you are trying to make an open minded and informed opinion.
“The Dystopia is in the Details”
As if the information tsunami in our culture doesn’t drown you already, then the anger and fear felt everywhere along with the arrows and lines on the floors will surely pop your protective bubble. Where does this SciFi original made-for-TV movie end?
On that dystopian note, how many of us have really contemplated the thought of social distancing and its long-range effects on humanity? I mean, forget about the fact that we already don’t trust our neighbors because of the “stranger danger” protocol. Add compulsory distancing driven by germaphobia and you have a complicated case of the “cooties.” But regardless if you are “for” or “against” “personal protective equipment” out of concern, fear, or respect for others, we cannot ignore how this may affect our human connection. Will social distancing become a new norm during flu seasons and future pandemics? Will we learn the balance between taking selfless precautions while going about our business without fear or disgruntlement? Will we learn how to embrace others through the empty space between us and deny ourselves the most electric of human senses being touch? Although I’ve gotten used to withholding my hand out for a shake, it still doesn’t feel normal. Not just that, but it doesn’t feel natural. Any of us who like to high five and pat backs and shoulders out of comradery and goodwill find ourselves feeling even more alone in a crowded world.
I wonder if children will continue to accept wearing a mask regularly out of good will, or will they do so out of fear? How will we educate them to understand their world without this fear — the very thing that we adults have yet to know how to do ourselves?
If you empathize at all with your fellow humans (simply, you understand and connect to those around you), I am certain that there are times these days where you feel yourself on the verge of holding a sustained scream until you run out of breath. Frustration comes too easily for everyone “these days.” Everyone seems to be losing it very easily. It’s not just your keys or cell phone anymore. Plus, it’s uncanny as to how many of us are right smack dab in the middle of some really bad shit — a health, life, family, financial, personal, and/or mental crisis. We feel on the “verge” of losing it regularly, and the one thing we need — patience — is nowhere around us. So, how do we obtain it? For starters, we can practice it just by projecting patience towards each other. If we practice patience, we will find value in the other people’s perspectives, and we desperately need each other’s perspectives. Without them, there will be no real growth.
It’s definitely a stressful and certainly an uncertain time to be alive, but what an amazing time to be alive, too. With all that is taking place in our world, it’s becoming more evident that we must make a shift personally as well as collectively, and that change begins along the edge of those silver linings shining through the darkness of hopelessness. With that light comes the unmistakable possibility of a brighter future.
What makes seeing silver linings more difficult? These days the “facts” presented to us through media and “official sources” seem to vary just as much as the sources do in their political slanting. If the details really matter to us, we are left wondering, “but what is the truth?” In an era of clickbait and ad revenue designed to persuade the subconscious mind in favor of profit, we each must become some type of independent journalist to collect our very own evidence while maintaining an open mind beyond our own perspectives. Unfortunately, finding what we think is truth and matching it up with everyone else’s truth is a task that has surpassed the scientist’s realm of expertise. Defining our collective truths will soon prove our willingness — or lack thereof — to work together for anything worthwhile in our collective future.
Nowadays, while our conscious minds struggle to keep up with all the information, our rational minds cave to the rash, emotional behavior that surrounds us, including our very own. There is just so much to interpret, and it seems to come at us from every corner.
Bias, political leanings, and world views have become blinders. Put these biases together with a surplus of knee jerk reactions and absolutely no patience for anything outside personal perspective, and you’ll find the perfect storm that we currently have now. With so much insecurity in every corner of our daily lives, it feels like everything that we call real is rolling around on a layer of spilled marbles. And I’m sure that some of us feel like those are the marbles that we’ve lost, too.
Whatever the truth is regarding the coronavirus, if there is just one constructive and positive aspect to our lives currently, a silver lining for 2020 if you will, maybe we can speculate that it’s about adaptation and personal growth where we learn through patient endurance and disciplined effort that we can overcome no matter the situation.
Adaptation as a form of growth is more about seeing obstacles, understanding more about ourselves, and getting past those hold-ups. It involves re-evaluating pretty much everything about our lives, and this includes some sort of growth that leads to our betterment. And when a nice slice of humanity goes through this process, some might call it a form of collective evolution. Others still may call it an awakening. But whatever label we might give it, the change involves more truth and greater collective understanding and consciousness. Again, if we’re looking for silver linings, our difficulties seem to give birth to greater strengths and awareness that help us see a bigger existential picture.
Back in March and April when many of us first found ourselves in the Brady Bunch through a computer monitor and camera (Zooming), a funny thing happened. In fact, I’m sure that many of us had realizations, especially regarding our daily schedule. I remember that after just a few weeks, I temporarily forgot where to go to set my alarm on my phone. Just as I was taking in amazingly beautiful spring, I found myself in a routine that had me sleeping and waking up around my natural circadian rhythm. I felt rested. That’s right: I was sleeping for real….during a pandemic of anxiety. I’m still a bit confused about how that worked, too, but I’m sure that finding a silver lining had something to do with it.
All of us have something that changed when society shifted to attend to a pandemic, but one thing is for sure: there was at least one eye-opening moment that each one of us had that opened our eyes even if just a little bit more. Each one of us had a self-realizing moment, and that’s a priceless experience to have as a human becoming.
COVID Anger or Viral Empathy
Does goodwill towards all still exist? Well, I think we’ve got a choice to make. Xenophobia seems to have imploded on us as a society to the point where even our neighbors are outside of our tribe, and all this has definitely thrown the proverbial wrench into much of humanity’s goodwill. At least this is the fearful and resentful mindset that many have chosen to have these days.
Here lately, however, I’ve been noticing that when I do interact with others online, over the phone, or within “social distances,” there is an increase in goodwill towards others in many parts of society, as well as the xenophobic tendencies, but you’ve got to look closely. In most of these cases, someone wishes me good health and safety. We have to remind ourselves that this part of being human still exists, that we can still trust in another’s humanity enough to extend a helping hand, especially when road rage and aggressive market interactions leave us feeling like we’ve had the life drained out of us.
The Collective Trial
We use all kinds of tools to measure different types of changes in our environment. Thermometers and pressure gauges help us monitor and adjust it. From time to time, crisis and collective struggle have a way of bringing out the best AND worst in us all. In so many ways, the Coronavirus has become a sort gauge and maybe even some form of test for humanity… How will we agree to disagree when our actions impact others? How will we decide on what is best for all of us? And what about our role to play in whatever may follow? In these days, will we give our best to those around us or just accept an apathetic, self-preservational motto to live by?
Sometimes, the only way to survive the undesirable and aka “the bad stuff” in life is to overturn it with another perspective and one that puts others first. It’s as easy as looking for some form of inner beauty in others. The funny thing is that when you look for something, you usually find it, and in this case, the beauty you find in others shines the light on the beauty in you.
In past generations, our predecessors endured so much more hardship than those of us who were born after WWII. Most of us have only had to deal with first world problems involving not having some form of instant gratification or amenity. But the shortages from toilet paper to select grocery items have all given us a taste of lack and hardship, and for those who have suffered greatly from loss of income, it’s an opportunity to start over, start again, start something new, but only if we choose to see it as an opportunity for change that can better our lives, but it’s never easy. Again, here’s where choice comes in.
Another adaptation that our predecessors learned was the art of rationing and being thrifty — because they had to. They made the best of it, endured it, and moved past it. Through times like the Great Depression, humanity learned to be creative and appreciate everything, including those extra screws you get when you put something together.
Going without. Roughing it. We’ve all experienced it. Whether from a snowstorm or a financial strain of sorts, we’ve all had to give up something that we didn’t want to give up and then actually accept the reality of not having it. But what do we really need, anyway? Unless that thing that you lack is vital for your life like air or water or anything that will affect the immediacy of health, going without something ultimately resorts to a life-changing shift, one where habits, mindsets, and actions change.
All this shift really requires is the sacrifice of letting go of the way it was. Sure, it’s uncomfortable, but it’s not life-threatening. Bruce Lee once taught: “Empty your cup so that it may be filled.” If we understand the cup as our conscious selves, this teaching suggests we must not only make space for the new, but we also must be willing to let go of our current understandings to uncover more of the truth. Maybe emptying our cups in these times is just what the doctor ordered. Maybe we will learn to fill our cups with selfless acts of kindness and understand more of how in giving we receive, which comes more naturally to humanity than most of us think.
“The only person who is educated is the one who has learned how to learn and change.”
-Carl Rogers
Growth
“Necessity is the mother of invention,” meaning out of hardship and struggle comes ingenuity to survive and in most cases might even produce a breakthrough that will bring about improvement to humanity. These days provide a whole slew of those kinds of moments, and companies and businesses have big choices in this re-evaluation. In many cases, that presents organizations run by people to decide between being flexible or breaking. And those who learn to be flexible don’t break. We must put forth the willingness and effort to adapt and be creative. Together. Regardless of differences.
What’s the greatest benefit behind all of this chaotic insanity we are currently enduring? It’s pushing folks to adapt, and it’s persuading folks to dig for truth — it’s messy, but it’s a wonderful thing to adapt, grow, and realize that we can rise above — anything.
Humor as a Ray of Light
I almost feel guilty in admitting this, but it feels like I’ve laughed more throughout this pandemic than in previous years that I can remember. This is NOT to make light of those who have suffered and died, but the reality of the matter is that so much comedy is born from crisis and tragedy and it’s this very paradox that reveals the most wonderful characteristics of humanity. The politics, the drama, the chaos — internet comedians and amateur YouTubers alike have used it as content for their art. But at the end of the day, the lesson here is that we must practice humor regardless of how serious conditions seem to be. If we learn to laugh and find humor in everything, we can find value and harmonize with life itself. After all, some say that laughter is scientifically proven as the best medicine. I just know that it makes me feel better. It’s that simple.
Cleansing, Shifting, Letting Go
“Attachment leads to jealousy. The shadow of greed that is. Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.” Yoda
Imagine how it feels when you have dirt or anything that you think is “yucky” on your hands. You know how good it feels to eventually be able to wash them. In much the same way, our lives are full of opportunities to cleanse ourselves from those things that make us feel so yucky.
Throughout our time in isolation this past year, and especially considering the uncertainty of the road ahead, it’s important to reorganize your inner self for the sake of your sanity. A huge part of that reorganizing is knowing when to allow change to better you by cleansing yourself of baggage or anything weighing you down in life. It’s time to let go of some things.
Maybe sometime in the last six months you found yourself following some innate, primal instinct to go into the wild and get adventurously dirty. It seems campers and kayaks have become so popular to see on the open road that I mistake them for convoys — to the woods, the river, or the beach. Many of us have responded to the call of the wild in hopes of recovering a part of ourselves in the process. Immersing ourselves in the natural world opens our eyes to a much broader picture of life. That, and maybe finding that there is no greater satisfaction than to see the dirt stains on your nails and realize that you accomplished a feat that created something. We’ve found that when we can’t chill out at the beach or run around town, we can go to the yard, the garden, or the drawing board and break a sweat and experience a moment of life.
Go Crazy Glue that broken thing you have been procrastinating to fix. Like many other instances in life, fixing that thing yourself could mean something more. Plus, the challenge of being still for 60 very long seconds also has its rewards in wisdom for the long haul of life. And when you’re patient, you will will find that the Crazy Glue actually works like crazy.
Don’t forget to lighten the load you bear every day, too. During our time contemplating the end of our world as we know it, have we discovered how futile so much of life’s daily motions are? We find ourselves looking for much deeper meaning within ourselves as to our purpose in life here. And as one result, constructive life change occurs. We shed layers of baggage, rid ourselves of excess, and change daily routines all as the result of existential contemplation during a pandemic. Think of it as spring cleaning meets self-actualization. One would think that bosses and supervisors wouldn’t like this trait too much, but many realize they would rather have healthy positivity over competitive misery. It’s the difference between being efficient and effective. It’s a literal shift in mindset, and we are all capable.
And what about re-evaluating the leadership in every organized role of society. I mean, who are the people who claim to represent us in both the work and government? Just as society attends to a deteriorating bridge, the same goes for our infrastructure when it begins to show signs of incompetence. Who makes the decisions that impact our lives and well-being? Who collects the money, really, and profits when the majority suffers? It really is prime time to rethink where our money goes. Like the obnoxiously curious child, we cannot help but ask a ceaseless barrage of questions with the intentions of understanding a bit better. For instance, I always like to ask who benefits? The most? Who is in control and why? If a way of doing something is no longer working, then why is it failing? How can we fix it? And what part do I play in that process?
I will always remember March through May of 2020 for being like no other spring. Aside from the loss of employment and economic downturn that affected so many, like any situation, there were benefits, too. While visiting Alaska a few years ago, the most valuable souvenir I brought back with me was the memory of serene wilderness, and I actually experienced real stillness. There was clean air where anyone with a good sniffer could tell you that Mother Nature wears a perfume called “freshness.” I got to see the galaxy like our ancestors once did with no light pollution. It’s a work of art. In that wilderness, there were no cell towers flashing at night or overdeveloped mountain communities blinding me at night. Put all these ingredients together, and you get a medicine like no other on earth, and the spring of 2020 provided a similar experience. The skies were clear and quiet, the roads were void of insanity, and the world seemed to stand a little more still than it usually does. Many of us rediscovered that finding solace was still achievable, and experiencing this peace gave us something to cherish in a time of mental and social upheaval.
Ok, so maybe it’s easier for some of us who are wired in a certain way to see the silver lining in times like these, but that doesn’t mean seeing those rays of hope is easy for us. Like everything worthwhile and satisfying in life, it takes practice and endurance where persistence never fails. Looking for those silver linings will seem like a colossal waste of time until persistence shows you that it’s truly just a matter of time before the light breaks through that darkness.
“The only way out is through.” Robert Frost
Infected Perspective
We talk all day long about something on social media going “viral,” but just as actual physical viruses spread among populations, we also infect one another in so many ways — from malicious computer code to influential attitude and behavior. And now that we have witnessed the influences of the massive global web of information, how will we continue to use all this interconnectivity? Will we share fear for the sake of making money, or will we share life-changing knowledge in love and for the wellbeing of all?
In the process of all this coronavirus research, scientific studies revealed the knowledge of how stress affects the immune system. As the public searched for answers and truth about a highly politicized pandemic and in the quest for staying healthy and virus-free, and after we found bare shelves where there were once rubbing alcohol, disinfectant wipes, and surgical masks were sold out to just a few people, many of us turned to natural and supplemental methods to boost our immune systems in the place of all the horded items. Among the many discoveries, recent studies publicized how stress leads to higher risk of infection, which equals a better chance of getting sick with a cold, flu, or, you guessed it….Coronavirus. It seems that just the act of worrying about getting infected could help create a more vulnerable immunity that would otherwise fight off viruses like COVID-19. Some of us realized that the worry wasn’t worth it, so we tried really hard not to fixate on whether people wore a mask or not because we preferred to avoid yet another argument or conflict with others that causes extreme stress.
Everybody’s offended by something, and that something has become an epidemic of sorts, too. Without going into much of the psychology of it, we’ve become a very self-centered culture, and as a result, our egocentricity has blinded us, especially to the real nature of our emotions. But if we are to better ourselves, we must re-evaluate ALL of our emotional responses. It doesn’t take long for the body to remind us of what it needs and doesn’t need, and much of our life stress teaches us what does and doesn’t matter.
My wife recently told me that she wished things would just return to normal. I know I’ve had countless moments in the mirror asking myself the same question just as many a parent has had to concoct an answer to the same question with their children, but what exactly is normal? When will things be normal? It seems like just another great opportunity to let go of expectations and perceptions, only this time it’s for the sake of your sanity. Seeing the brighter side involves creating your own normal within yourself.
Let us be honest: When are times ever “certain,” anyway? We are learning that we take so much of life for granted. If we are willing to be honest with ourselves, most of us would agree that there’s a little boy or girl inside all of us who is terrified. We want to run and hide. We want some parental protection or supernatural intervention, we want to hide under a sheltering wing from the scary storm; but rather than be that helpless and traumatized youngling, we must learn how to be that child who knows deep down inside he/she is a superhero. We still remember where we came from. It doesn’t matter what religious, spiritual, or even psychological practices that help us get there. What does matter is that we open our eyes to see the great potential that stares back at us from the mirror. We have the power. The force is with us. This is the consciousness that enters the kingdom of peace and all that is good in the universe, and it starts today, but only when we practice letting go. Simplify your life and reconnect during these times. Instead of allowing it to divide all of us, be a force yourself that brings more collective consciousness into view among us all.
Fear holds us captive and blinds us from seeing what really unifies and even liberates us. We must be wary of fear mongering and know when it’s being taken advantage of. Again, another excellent opportunity to use this newfound consciousness. To liberate one’s self from the hypocrisy of the surrounding world and see the silver lining of a bigger picture of life itself where fear has no part to play except make you stronger by facing it.
“Compassion is the basis of morality.” — Arthur Schopenhauer
If Schopenhauer’s words are to ring true, then we must ask why people choose to target the vulnerable and to take advantage of those in need during crisis? It seems that at the heart of crisis can also be found the heart of humanity because it brings the very best and worst out of us. Crisis either finds us working towards a thriving community together or choosing to protect our disconnected egos. The greatest lesson for us to learn from this pandemic is this: Will we choose to operate our daily, conscious minds out of the human vibration of love or fear? Will we consciously practice equanimity, or will we be stuck in some unconscious freak-out mode while our world falls apart? If we are to have spiritual values, then we are probably attempting to practice them at this point just to stay sane; but if you are not finding your humanity in those who encompass you in our world, then I’m sure there is, to some degree, a fear of lack, a fear of insecurity, and a desire to protect the self, only.
Where there is conflict, provide peace, even if that means keeping your very own anger, bitterness, and ego on a leash. The world is in critically short supply of those who choose to keep their destructive thoughts to themselves and instead offer peace and harmony. If your goal is to survive and endure the trials of life, then you must focus on the solutions, and many of them require another perspective, in fact, many other perspectives.
Ultimately, this pandemic along with the overwhelming global crises has the potential to unite us in an historic way. We are realizing that the choice we all must make is very real, and it’s a decision that incorporates everyone else. This collective experience has the potential to reveal more of our true nature, which involves a connection we have with everyone and everything on our planet. Want proof of this interconnectivity? Just observe social media and its virality of ideas, and you will find that collective consciousness is a very real thing. Actions, thoughts, and ideas spread like germs, for better and for worse. So, while we are enduring whatever hardships that are a part of this pandemic, we are finding that life becomes exponentially better when we work together in patience and open-mindedness.
If we are to work towards a better understanding of everything around us, we have no choice other than to identify our humanity in others who share this life and planet with us. But one thing is for sure: Those of us who pay attention to these signs and wonders as if it’s the symbolic thunder rolling in the background see BIG change is headed our way in our world everywhere, and the choices we make will produce drastically different results. One requires conscious effort while the other just follows the collective tide of emotional reactions of the status quo. One grows beyond and rises above disaster and difficulty and the other shrinks away and prepares for conflict. One involves a letting go of the past and the other involves fighting a losing battle with the change that ensues with the passing of time. One is accepting, open, and free; the other is in a constant fight to control everything and have more stuff, which, in the end, means nothing.
“Until he extends his circle of compassion to include all living things, man will not himself find peace.” Albert Schweitzer
Pandemics are perfect proof that we infect each other, in every way imaginable, so we must acknowledge our connection, which may very well be the biggest silver lining to uncover here. Maybe the greatest pandemic is the viral disconnection we have with one another where empathy and trust are the missing pieces that can fix so much. Can we ever be one tribe? And what is the cure to this spiritual pandemic, if you will? What is hindering us from finding it? What this virus has outlined for all of us is that something collectively selfish is holding us back from being collectively selfless and understanding ourselves as members of just ONE TRIBE.
It is indeed the end of the world as we know it. Why? Because what we label as reality is constantly changing. That is just the nature of our universe. Maybe global crises show us how to change and “go with the flow” or at least give us that opportunity to grow in conscious, personal understanding. But the undeniable silver lining found in any thought of doomsday is that we start to treat each day like it’s all we’ve got. The irony here is that in considering mortality, our perspective urges us to embrace and experience more of what life has to offer. And, what happens next? We begin looking closely at our inner nature, motivations, and even fears and insecurities that we would otherwise miss while sleepwalking through life and going through the motions prescribed by society and that ends in much regret.
In the end, these silver lining will never fail to unveil the truth. With the global changes ahead, what part will you help create? Although the world seems to be spinning out of control where things fall apart and life itself feels surreal, there is also the light at the edge that reveals a better outcome. On this pathway, we are finding ways to practice empathy through our lives and understand more of our human connection. Practices like meditation and self-awareness, and life philosophies like Stoicism that better put matters in broader perspective.
In times like these, whether you believe in or devote yourself to religious prophesy, scientific projection, or just a speculative dabbling of the future, in the end we all still have a choice to make: will we quit all efforts and surrender to the thought that our actions can’t do any good, even if we know they can, or do we choose to do whatever it takes to create the thriving world we need for survival through our attitude and action?
It truly is the end of the world as we know it, and to quote R.E.M., “I feel fine.” Why? Because I am choosing to see the silver linings in it all. It’s where the edges of an ending lead to new beginnings and possibilities.
“The choice is yours.” Captain Planet
